Hey all. We thank you for the emails. We appreciate the support more than you know. We’ll be posting a new blog very soon from Sage, and it will be AWESOME! We hope you keep returning to our site. Take care!
-The Ask-A-Bum Staff
December 16, 2007
November 10, 2007
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A Fond Welcome From Sage
What’s up, people? This is Sage. I am one of the primary contributors to this site. This has been a long time coming, and it will be fun as myself and my partner show you viewers just how rewarding it can be to be a sluggard and a glutton. We have plans to run some experiments on here, gather some interviews, and show you all the beauty of laziness. It truly is a wonderful art, and I know you will see that soon enough!
Vaya Con Dios,
Sage
Welcome to Ask A Bum!
We established this site for the consumer of economic yet discriminating tastes. We’re going to have several features that we believe you will enjoy if you are a cheap, lazy bastard like ourselves. As of right now, we have a couple of projects in the works so hold tight and keep checking back. We’d also like to hear your feedback and suggestions for articles that YOU want to see. If you would be interested in contributing to the blog, email us at askabum@gmail.com to let us know!
Until the next time,
The Ask-A-Bum Staff.
You know what I hate?
Tags: comedians, criticism, dane cook, hate, rant
You know what I hate? Stupidity. You know who I think is really stupid? Dane Cook. Granted, I liked him in the beginning (like a lot of people who are now too chickenshit to admit it), but he is now a great pain in my ass. It physically hurts me every time I see him revelling in his ADD-esque observational *cough* comedy. I watched him with Dave Attell and a few others on Comedy Central last night and, in the midst of his bit, I had my new great epiphany: Dane Cook is my mortal enemy. I’ll acquiesce to a few things, so as not to appear hypocritical.
(1.) I do own a few Dane Cook CDs. I found him absolutely hysterical when I discovered him about two years ago. Now, they have thick layers of dust on them. His jokes are stale and trite. I’m leaning more towards comedians like Dave Attell, Steven Wright, and Mitch Hedberg. They don’t have to hop around on stage like a crack-addled chimpanzee to garner a laugh. (2.) He is a nice looking guy, and that makes chicks dig him. I’m not saying I want to thrust into his puckered rosebud, but he is an attractive dude. Chicks can sway anything to the masses because, sadly, we men make up the masses. “Yes, hon. I love Dane Cook. He’s very funny,” some jackass says to his wench while picturing his ‘hon’ on all fours later that evening, rewarding him for saying the right thing. Was it really worth it? Did your ten seconds of passions make up for your shame? I think not. (3.) He speaks his mind, regardless of whether or not it makes sense or has relevance. I respect that. I’m very much the same in that respect, but I think that you need to draw a line when it comes to talking about doing battle with armored monkeys in the privacy of your home. Just fight the damn monkey and don’t involve me.
I guess the main thing that pisses me off about Dane Cook is that he reminds me of every smartass frat boy fuck who thinks he’s hot shit and is reinforced by likeminded dickheads. You know the type. They shop at American Eagle, Abercrombie & Fitch, and the Gap piling up mountains of clothing with no spirit that look like they’ve already been worn by a bum for two or three years because that’s the ‘style,’ and you want to just kick their ass on sight. These types make me wanna hurl. Sadly, they’ll call the police on their ever-shrinking cellular phones and report you and afterwards, they and their buddies will have a massive man orgy with plenty of light beer and fake-n-bake, blond bimbos waiting to fellate them for being so great. My head hurts now.
So, that’s my rant for the day. Dane Cook is my sworn enemy until someone else pisses me off. Maybe you will be the next target…
Fondest regards,
Sage